Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. Keanu Reeves
The topic of relationships always bring up interesting conversations. Whether good or bad, you always get the point of view that is often one sided. According to Confucian quotes there are 5 types of relationships. There is one between the ruler and subject, the father and son, the elder brother and his younger brother, the husband and wife and friend and friend.
They may also be discussing the five Cs of successful relationships which I personally believe are more apt today than a quote that says “In one’s household, it is the women and the small men that are difficult to deal with. If you let them get too close, they become insolent (disrespectful). If you keep them at a distance, they complain.” Quoting this would hardly mend bridges with your other half!
So what are the five C’s of a great relationship you may ask….
1) Communication – Any and every relationship will not survive without communication. In fact, poor communication is the number one reason for relationship breakdown. You need to talk it out at all cost. Good communication skills can prevent or overcome many adverse situations prior to them occurring. Two key skills in any partnership, but particularly between couples, is knowing how to talk and how to listen. Learning how to communicate effectively will help you succeed in life not just in your love life, but at the office and with your kids. So how can you learn and be effective at it? There are a number of ways but one very good book on the subject is the Magic of Making Up. Obviously it is targeted towards relationships but the basic principles apply to all forms of communication.
2) Compromise – This is the core of bringing two into one and it is a huge part of being in a successful partnership/relationship. You must learn how to compromise or you are not going to last. This is a proven fact. When building a relationship, it’s not always about you or “I” or “me.” You have to think “we.” This doesn’t mean you always have to bend to your partners demands but that you must work out a way that you both can do things that you like doing and enjoying it together. Compromise is the master key.
3) Commitment – This is the basis of marriage. Ask yourself if you are ready for the next phase of the relationship. In order for it to succeed, you have to be committed to having a successful relationship. It may sound funny but there are a number of couples out there who haven’t thought about how hard you have to work to keep a loving partnership in tact. You both have to be committed to seeing each other through the good times as well as the bad. And believe me… some bad will seem like a lot.
4) Celebration – Celebration makes everyone happy. You will bring more success if you celebrate that which you already enjoy. Be grateful for your partner and show them you appreciate them on a regular basis and not just on special occasions. The more you show you care, the more likely they are to find other ways to show you how much they care. In order to receive, you must give. In other words, it becomes a loving circle that will over time help you to solidify your relationship and thus prevent break ups. Affairs happen a lot of the time because partners feel neglected, underappreciated or ignored. Don’t let that happen to you. It’s often difficult to earn the trust again.
5) Conclusion – This is the last C in any discussion on relationships. Having a successful marriage isn’t easy. In fact, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. When you are committing to one for the rest of your life, it’s a serious situation. You must commit time to each other but also to yourself. Never lose yourself in the relationship. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you. Love yourself and your partner. Share the love together as one. Treat your partner with the same respect you show yourself. Don’t become complacent or stagnant in progress. A marriage is a business that is contractual. Be certain to keep your end of the deal.
I hope these tips enlightened you on the commitment that is involved in a relationship, especially a marriage. In order fort the relationship to last, you must give every effort in making it happen. After 21 years of being married, I find the challenge to get easier. You understand one another and you respect each others space. Keep going and don’t give up or in.
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